Struggling Well With Life

I talked to my dad for a few minutes this week. The conversations never last long, but I am always left encouraged, even challenged. When he was my age he was a lot more serious, and intense. Why wouldn’t he be? He was working his tail off around the clock to provide for a quiver full of boys, some at home, some off to college. I often get my dad’s look on my face - that my girls call - “Mr. Stern-Face”. But my old man learned to lighten up. Sure, his circumstances have changed, but these years have had some hard things to carry too. This month will mark four years of living without the love of his life. He is not the man I knew, but has become full of life and joy for each and every day. I want to be him now, not when I am in a retirement center. That quick call challenged me - hearing his pursuit of others and life encourages me to go there. He is still fathering this almost 50 year old boy.

I am getting ready to head home for the day.  I woke up this morning, spent some time in the Word, prayed, then put the armor on for the day.  And ll day I have been battling.  Battling to stay aligned, to remind myself of God’s presence, to say the hard things I know I have to say, to do what I am supposed to do.  I did, and rather than victory -  I feel done in.  And it dosen’t feel good.  Mama said there would be days like this.