http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php?/blog/struggling/ en info@churchatcharlotte.org Copyright 2010 2010-03-01T22:36:58+00:00 http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/haunted-by-failure/ http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/haunted-by-failure/ I failed at something, which is not really rare for me, but I failed at something I really wanted NOT to fail at. Even so, I tanked big. No one got hurt, no permanent damage - except within me. It is tough to really give yourself to something, put your whole heart into it, and then pull the trigger to find the result so far less than expected. For days following I lived in a personal place of defeat and and internal embarrassment, and even disappointment with God. This Christan life is complicated at times. I am a month out now, and the experience is still slightly, but certainly haunting me. There is something to be learned here, something that still needs to reckoned “dead” in me, and I am agonizing in hunting it down. 2010-03-01T22:36:58+00:00 http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/i-am-here/ http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/i-am-here/ This weekend, if you attend services, Jim will be preaching from the Sermon on the Mount. That’s all fine and well, and no doubt he will preach his heart out, but nothing compares with actually being there, or HERE.  40 of us will literally be on the Mount where Jesus preached that very sermon, this Sunday. For a visual learner, this experience is hard to beat. We will think of you all worshipping in Charlotte, as we worship on the Mount of Beatitudes. What a gift to - walk the Via Dolorosa, stand in the house of Caiaphas, float in the Dead Sea, visit the garden tomb, stand in the garden of Gethsemane and look over the Holy City. I am praying that God will use this journey in each of our lives to speak, move, and shape us more and more in the image of Jesus. Would you pray that too? 2010-02-27T22:13:11+00:00 http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/overwhelmed/ http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/overwhelmed/ Ever stand in front of an overwhelming need and wonder what you could possibly offer that would make a bit of difference>?  I met a woman in Ethiopia, who believed God was calling her to care for prostitutes, and when she began moving in that direction was paralzed by the overwhelming need, issues, and obstlaces.  God led Cheri to Ephesians 3:20 and she began trusting that God would do far more than she could hope or imagine - and He did.  She fearfully pursued a friendship with two women which moved her far out of her comfort zone, and exposed her to the dark side of life that so many women face day in and day out.  Now, years later, she and others like her, have rescued hundreds of women.  Two things strike me.  God does far more than we can hope or imagine, and He long for us to simply respond to His leading. 2010-02-25T18:33:12+00:00 http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/out-of-sync/ http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/out-of-sync/ It has been so long since I have touched this page, it’s tough to know where to start.  Here’s the deal - it’s not that I have not been “struggling” and have nothing to write - but quite the opposite.  Life is odd: On one hand I am doing pretty well, and on the other hand I am being raked over the coals inside.  I am trying to determine if this is the Holy Spirit trying to move me to a deeper place, or just more self absorption and introspection that drives one crazy.  You would think that after walking with God for decades that this would be a bit simpler to determine - not so much for me.  Praying for clarity. 2010-02-23T18:24:23+00:00 http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/practice-what-you-preach1/ http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/practice-what-you-preach1/ I am preaching this weekend, and am well into my preparation, but realize that the very message is not something that is true of me.  The evil one is pounding with me with messages like “you are the last one on earth who should be preaching this stuff”, and you know what - he’s right.  But, I need the truth of this message to penetrate my heart and life.  So if you are here this weekend, know that I am not only “preaching to the choir”, but the preacher too! 2010-01-14T14:42:27+00:00 http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/more-like-dad/ http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/more-like-dad/ I talked to my dad for a few minutes this week. The conversations never last long, but I am always left encouraged, even challenged. When he was my age he was a lot more serious, and intense. Why wouldn’t he be? He was working his tail off around the clock to provide for a quiver full of boys, some at home, some off to college. I often get my dad’s look on my face - that my girls call - “Mr. Stern-Face”. But my old man learned to lighten up. Sure, his circumstances have changed, but these years have had some hard things to carry too. This month will mark four years of living without the love of his life. He is not the man I knew, but has become full of life and joy for each and every day. I want to be him now, not when I am in a retirement center. That quick call challenged me - hearing his pursuit of others and life encourages me to go there. He is still fathering this almost 50 year old boy. 2010-01-07T16:16:29+00:00 http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/today-was-a-battle/ http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/today-was-a-battle/ I am getting ready to head home for the day.  I woke up this morning, spent some time in the Word, prayed, then put the armor on for the day.  And ll day I have been battling.  Battling to stay aligned, to remind myself of God’s presence, to say the hard things I know I have to say, to do what I am supposed to do.  I did, and rather than victory -  I feel done in.  And it dosen’t feel good.  Mama said there would be days like this. 2010-01-06T22:08:40+00:00 http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/beauty-contestant/ http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/beauty-contestant/ Growing up outside of Atlantic City, NJ where the Miss America Pageant was held I heard my fair share of contenders for that title wish for “world peace”. They were just too easy, and too much fun to mock! I am not convinced those women knew much about the world outside their own reality. And yet this year that is the sentiment that has lingered beneath the surface for me. Forget world peace, I am wishing for it to be local, a little closer to home. I wish for every child in our church to grow up in a home where they know how deeply they are loved, by parents who love them and each other. I wish for marriages to find the way through. I wish for men to be men, and provide for their families in ways that far surpass the physical needs. I wish for the statistics to be different for us as believers. My wish seems as far fetched as those beauty contestants. I am mad, mad that so many are falling around us. It is hard to follow Christ, to be obedient, to remain in the tension of the relationships we have committed to. Every day is a battle - to not only do right, but be right - be right with God, and others. I haven’t mastered it, but it steams me to witness the devastation of lives in the wake of someone who gives up and goes after “what makes me happy”. I wish that the peace of Christ would rule, like never before, in the hearts and homes of this community of believers. 2009-12-31T22:00:27+00:00 http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/almost-missed-christmas/ http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/almost-missed-christmas/ We were out with good friends the other night. It was a great evening. Really good food. Conversation the dipped beneath the surface. It was a gift of a night in a month that has brought little rest, and limited peace. While heading home with a grateful heart for a festive mood and moving through an intersection, another car came literally barreling through a red light at a decent speed. 1-2 seconds tops, was all that separated us from having Christmas with Jesus, face to face. I woke up several times that night shaken up a bit. Just another reminder that God is in complete control of the universe, and my world inside that universe. Don’t get me wrong - I am ready for Glory, in fact long for it more and more. And I am also ready and thrilled to celebrate another Christmas here with the three women in my world. 2009-12-24T17:07:17+00:00 http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/continuation/ http://churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/continuation/ If you have followed my blog - you know that I have a good friend with bad taste in shoes. Read that blog before going any further, otherwise this won’t make much sense. Well, today, I finally shamed him into getting a decent pair of shoes. We went into an upscale shoe store at Southpark, he tried on several pair, and ended up with some respectable choices. So as he was forking over his money to buy his Italian leather shoes, he pointed to a huge shipping box at the back-end of the store. On the side of this box, in larger than life print, it read “made in China”. My hope is that his feet will know the difference between good leather and petroleum rubber.  Certainly, they will at least smell better. 2009-11-24T21:11:48+00:00